Karen-619 asked:
I need some advise writting my introduction paragraph for my classification essay -thank u
Business Administration is my field of interest because I love working with numbers, people, and problem solve. I was motivated by my sister-in law, seeing her how she has a professional job that she enjoys and has a great pay salary and tryies made me realize that I wanted to be someone successful in the future just like her. There are different specialties within this field such as Account Manger, Financial Analyst, Management Consultant, and Property or Community Association Manager.
*tryies*- tries mispelled word
I need some advise writting my introduction paragraph for my classification essay -thank u
Business Administration is my field of interest because I love working with numbers, people, and problem solve. I was motivated by my sister-in law, seeing her how she has a professional job that she enjoys and has a great pay salary and tryies made me realize that I wanted to be someone successful in the future just like her. There are different specialties within this field such as Account Manger, Financial Analyst, Management Consultant, and Property or Community Association Manager.
*tryies*- tries mispelled word
what are “tryies”?
thats what confused me mostly
Business Administration is my field of interest because I love working with numbers, people, and problem solving. I was motivated by my sister-in law, seeing how she has a professional job that she enjoys and has a great salary has greatly motivated me. She has made me realize that I want to be someone successful in the future just like she is. There are different specialties within this field that I am passionate about, such as Account Manager, Financial Analyst, Management Consultant, and Property or Community Association Manager.
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MUCH better. Hope I helped!
“because I love working with numbers, people, and problem solve”
-Personally, I would change this sentence to something like “because I love working with numbers and people, and I enjoy problem solving”
Your second sentence is a run-on sentence. You could probably split it up into two. Perhaps “I was motivated by my sister-in-law–I saw that she has a professional job that she enjoys and has a great salary. This made me realize that I wanted to be someone successful in the future just like her”
Hope this helps.
…problem solving.
…..in-law.
She has a ….which she enjoys. She is also highly paid.
It was she who made me ………like her. etc.
Your essay has promise. Just expand your specialised fields into paragraphs in the body of your work and then make your concluding passage. Most of your work is done because you know what you want to say. Congratulations. I bet you do well !